Mi Esposo Estupido

So, wednesday is his I-601 interview in Juarez. He is more than half a day away on a ranch called Aqua Zarca in the state of Zacatecas. He left this morning(2/22) with his Mom and Uncle by bus. He informs me just a day or so ago, that he is NOT packing all his stuff in case he is granted a Visa. The RETARD, is planning on going all the way back to Mommy's house to pack and come all the way back again....Seriously, where the F*(&K is his brain??? WHY would he chance it? Why wouldn't he be prepared and think positive? Is this the same man who was bawling his little eyes out a month ago saying how bably he wanted to come home to the US?? God, he seriously pisses me off. I am 5 months pregnant, cranky and being a single Mom to our 2 year old while he gets waited on by MOMMY. And acting like he is on vacation and taking his sweet ass time to come home to us..This really angers me. And where does he think I am getting all this money from? Pulling it out my ass? God, I swear he has no brain....

missing him...

So, It seems like forever since I left my Husband behind...I'm not quite sure how I feel now that it's been about a month. I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm lonely and I'm scared as shit. His appointment for his waiver is next wednesday the 24th. It is also the same day as my ultrasound...I can't sleep. I'm not at all excited, I'm flipping out. What if he is backlogged and it takes us another year til we can be together? How will our daughter live without her Papi? How will I deliver our child alone? How will I go on? Should I move there to be close to him? Or should I stay here? What about my other kids who can't move to another Country....Oh shit I'm scared and alone. I pray to God he gets his Visa and he can come back home....I hate this whole thing...