missing him...

So, It seems like forever since I left my Husband behind...I'm not quite sure how I feel now that it's been about a month. I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm lonely and I'm scared as shit. His appointment for his waiver is next wednesday the 24th. It is also the same day as my ultrasound...I can't sleep. I'm not at all excited, I'm flipping out. What if he is backlogged and it takes us another year til we can be together? How will our daughter live without her Papi? How will I deliver our child alone? How will I go on? Should I move there to be close to him? Or should I stay here? What about my other kids who can't move to another Country....Oh shit I'm scared and alone. I pray to God he gets his Visa and he can come back home....I hate this whole thing...